There is no flaw in you

I’m going to get personal here; I planned a completely different post for today. This is definitely not in my plans, but I’m sure they are in Gods and I’m just rolling with it. So yesterday I had one of those “ugly fat” days. We all get them, I’m pretty positive about that. In the past I would say 7-8 months I gain about 10 pounds, From 115 to 125. To many that’s no big deal, but for me it has affected me in a way I actually did not understand or liked. So I obviously pushed it aside.  Once I pushed it aside I just kept eating and being lazy, I swear I love doing both but I can tell it gets you into a position in your life where you feel stuck. I’ve been here before, all my life I have fluctuated in my weight, since I can remember I’ve always herd the words “omg she’s so chubby” or “wow she got so skinny”.  I wish society and my own brain wouldn’t worry about how my body looks or how my hips cling on to fabric. 

Yesterday I was talking to my boyfriend and we were talking about being healthy, he’s recently lost a lot of weight, “relationship weight” , but I, after 2 years of dating just started gaining it. While we were talking I simply just broke down into sobs, you know the ones with those Chewbacca noises? Yup that’s the kind of crying I did. He was terrified and was trying everything to console me. But I was crying because I couldn’t say that I loved my body. It hurts to not be able to say that. What hurt me the most was that I know 90% of the girls I interact with and girls I don’t even know, cry about that same reason. So cried for me and I cried for them.

““I love this part” we’ll say it about our favourite song.  Why can’t we say it about our body? “ -unknown.

So while I was having my breakdown, in my head I started saying “I love my body and it is beautiful” and the more I repeated it the calmer my whole soul got. That’s when I understood, that you must also be kind to yourself every single day with words. Words affect the world in such a way that it has changed the course of history. Words have created history. So why not create the most beautiful, stunning, gorgeous love story to yourself. You owe it to yourself to love the skin you are in. There is a line in a spoken word by Natalie Patterson that says “We own something we never paid for, we didn’t earn it so we don’t comprehend the value of it.” We do not comprehend the value of the most beautiful thing created, our bodies because Jesus paid for it, and we didn’t. It was gift of grace, and we misuse it, talk nasty to it, and downright ignore it. It’s time to start saying “I love this part” instead of saying “I hate this part” or “I wish I could change this”. We need to stop the “I am beautiful BUT” and just say “I am beautiful.”

I encourage you to write a love letter to yourself. Telling yourself what you like and what you admire about yourself. The only catch is that you are not allowed to write anything that you think you need to improve or fix about yourself. You are only allowed to write compliments, we don’t receive compliments very well, so start by receiving your own. Always remember on those days when you just can't seem to love yourself hard enough and you can't see past the unworthiness; God doesn't measure your worth by the size of your hips.

“You are altogether beautiful, my love, there is no flaw in you” Song of Solomon 4:7

With love and grace- Diana

p.s I'm adding this amazing spoken word, it is outstanding!

Link for moblie users :) Enjoy!!

 " 'You are beautiful, no matter what they say words can't bring you down' -- BUT they do.." -Mike Young