Pages - Menu

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Why I'm Dating a Black Man

One of my favourite bloggers, Lauren DeMoss of the FulltimeGirl tweeted an article by Christian rapper Trip Lee, titled “Why I Married a White Girl”. Being in an interracial relationship myself, I decided to write my rendition of this topic.

I would be lying to you if I said that  never in my wildest dreams thought I would be dating outside my ethnicity; I simply never saw the difference between me and another race. I grew up in school were dating inter-racially was completely normal, so I never saw a problem with it. I moved to a new country my sophomore year and stopped dating all together. I ended up going to a very urban school in Toronto where, again dating inter-racially was normal. The summer before going to college I met Dylan, my current boyfriend.  He happens to be from Trinidad and Tobago so yes, his skin is a lot darker than mine.

We started going out on dates and getting to know each other for about four months before becoming official. Soon after those four months passed and we became official, that’s when I noticed that a lot of people do not think the way I do. I remember this girl from school, a Christian, saying to me, “Oh..He’s black..My mother would never let me date a Black guy” the only thing that came into my head was “Why? Why not?” I never understood why a person who would claim the love of Jesus as her own would neglect another person based on their color. Then my mom would tell me that people from our old church were asking her why she would let me date a black person. Then one day we went on the subway and for the first time I saw this older man staring at me with disgust, and then he stared at Dylan. It was the first time I really wanted to punch someone in the face. He wasn’t the last to stare at us that way but he was the last person I ever wanted to punch; now all I want to do is hug.

So why is dating inter-racially such a taboo in the Church? Even outside the church? The most ridicule I have received have been from “Christians” so why? And yes I'm talking racism. The topic not talked about in churches because it’s that much of a taboo. Racism is still quite present in our society, if we strip our outer skin you are the exact same as that African or Asian sitting next to you. We like to profess this love for Christ and the nations but if your daughter came home with a black man or an Indian man, you would probably forget all about that love. If that hurt you a little, good. I invite you to reevaluate your heart and really dig into the love of Jesus.

 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28(NIV)

I remember talking to some group of girls from my youth group one Sunday and they were talking about preferences in boys. You know, the typical Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt description and in my head I laughed, what if God has something completely different for you? Maybe His plan is to join you with someone completely different to humble you. It’s awesome to have preferences in what your spouse may look like but your preferences should be more on personality than looks. The more you grow in Christ your preferences may change. But the one thing that can never change is a God fearing heart. That should be your number one preference. It would be a shame that you let the love of your life walk away because of colour, ethnicity, weight or height.

Many say love is blind. I disagree. Love sees it all; the color, the perfection, the imperfection, the weight, and the height but love decides to look past all that. Love sees it all and loves it with greater passion. Jesus is like that, we are gentiles, we are not from His land yet he does not care, He still calls us His bride, He still sees all of us and He still loves us. I see the love and grace of Jesus in my boyfriend every day and our relationship just shows the world how two different people can come together in love and for the name of Jesus. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So be open to what God has for you, it might not be what you wanted but it is definitely what you need. God knows you better than you even know yourself, so if I were you I would trust His judgement. He can pair you up with someone who is out of this world; if only you were open to it. Don't let the ignorance of this society rule over who you should and shouldn't love. Follow the love of Christ, because it is unconditional. It doesn't matter who you are, the color of your skin, your height. It DOESN'T matter. I think we should strive to be more like Jesus. Be able to look at everyone through HIS eyes; not in a judgmental way, with no criticism, and with a genuine love. God's love knows NO end. So why should ours?

(The beau and I & pesky white camera spots) 

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.- Colossians 3:14

With love and grace- Diana


  1. Snaps and claps for this!!! This really spoke to my heart in a lot of way and it's so good to share a love that goes beyond physical appearances. Yes to all colours ;)


  2. Diana, It amazes me how our Lord Jesus has changed you Diana, for many years I've known you (Mom #2) all the love and compassion that you have. And I know God created us (different colors) but He has no difference between us.- Estelita

  3. Estelita!! Thank you, the change has all been thanks to God! I love you!!

    -Diana C