Hi my name is Dylan; this is sort of new for me so I am just
trying to give it a go. I have had many different challenges in my life a lot
of them having to do with inner demons and some even turning into outer demons.
I am from Trinidad and Tobago so I am black, I have the normal stereotype of a
black male loves sports, doesn't do great in school, got into a lot of trouble
when I was young, so I had to learn how to PERSEVERE. That’s a key word in my
life for more reasons than not. When I was around the age of three both my
parents died, luckily for me I grew up in a close knit family so quick as a
whistle my grandma adopted me. My life was more than normal until around the
age of 9 I started to wonder where my parents were and why other children have
a mommy and daddy and I only have my grandma. It took one conversation with my
grandma to quickly make me aware of the situation which looking back on it now
sent me spiraling into a place I didn't want to be. Its seems as though when it
rains it pours because along the way of this bombshell(about three years later)
I stumbled into another, I quickly formed a lot of self-doubt and self-critique
of my image thinking I was too fat or that I was ugly along with many other
things. This began a hole I dug for myself a very deep hole.
"But you timothy are a man of God so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a Godly life along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness." 1 Timothy 6:11.
Once this hole started it was VERY difficult to get out and
I found myself day after day feeling miserable and constantly talking down to
myself until one day around the age of 14 or 15 I encountered God. It was
probably the most calming feeling I have ever had over my life. It was on a
soccer field right before one of my big games he came to me at this clear field
with fresh chalk rolled out on the grass and he filled me with a joy, a childlike
joy, which literally transformed me from always wanting to be quiet, keeping to
myself and pretty much turning away from everyone. To wanting to have new
friends actually talking to people taking on more important roles and as that
started to develop a sense of perseverance was placed over my heart.
"So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up."- Galatians 6:9.
It was hard I had been digging this hole for about 6 years
now and the climb out would proceed to take another 4 years but I wanted this
change I didn't want to give up on the change so I wouldn't let it happen! No
sir not one bit I had to PERSEVERE I had no other options. It all started with
confronting the issue that I was healthy and growing up to be a rather good
looking boy. As childish or as dumb as this may sound this took me surrounding
myself with girls to gain compliments and just attention. It didn’t take me
long to realize that the only person who can give me confidence in life is and
always will be Jesus Christ. What to me the
most amazing thing was seeing my faith in God grow stronger and my belief in
perseverance grew along with it; many things that use to bother me disappeared.
I only really had one problem left, the fact that I had no mom and no dad. With
this new rejuvenation I went at it full steam.
"Put on the full armor of Christ so that you may take on the devil's scheme." -Ephesians 6:11
Around the time I was dealing with this chapter of my life,
I met my now girlfriend, who is a wonderful and strong women, I don't know how
else to put it other than she helped me put my nose down and push through. No
matter how sad I was one day or how angry I was the next she was always there
to continue to help me tackle the issues and look deeper and deeper inside
myself. Something amazing happened one day, probably on the worst I had ever
felt, I found myself back in the place where this all started, the soccer
field. What I heard was "Don't stop
now you guys are doing great" and in all honesty it freaked me out because
I had never thought about hearing this voice, I thought it was me, my own
voice, but quickly the argument I was having in my head was dismissed by a voice
almost surreal and that just echoed of power. That was the turning point for me
that day I knew that nothing could stop me because my God backs me up and he
sees the bigger picture Even though I have no parents, I have an amazing family
and best of all I have the best father, my God. He knew me before anyone else
in the world did, he knew my struggles and my heartache. He’s always been
present, it was a very real battle for me to expel all that was going on inside
me, but that’s what’s amazing about our God, he already knew. I know that with the perseverance my God has
bestowed on my life I would get through it and get through it I did.
"By standing firm you will gain life"- Luke 21:19
Perseverance is probably one of the hardest weapons to use, there
are many times you just want to quit or to just say enough is enough but then that’s
when faith and hope kicks in. You may be lacking a mom or a father, maybe even both like me but always remember
" Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close." Palms 27:10. Where you lack, He fills and only Him. When you put your trust and love in the One that
never runs out of perseverance, I promise you can’t give up on the one who died
on the cross for you and for me, giving up on life is not an option; the only
option is perseverance.
Persevere (verb); to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragements; continue steadfastly
- Dylan Stewart.
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