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Thursday 20 March 2014

The Wonders of Dating

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 "We love because he first loved us." -1 John 4:19
Dating is probably the scariest most old fashion tradition that exist besides marriage. I guess now a days dating is losing it's value and it's became just another status on Facebook. I'm going to venture out on only two things about dating today. The first the cons: how scary and intimating it really is, and the pros: how wonderful it is.

I've always laughed  when someone asks "I have good news or bad news. Which one do you want first?" And usually we all say "bad news!" So I'm going to state the "bad news" first.

Cons. Sharing your life with someone. It is terrifying, as an only child I am use to my own space and bubble, so letting someone else into my bubble is icky. I know this isn't just for only child's. You may live in a house of 8 brothers and sisters but you still have your own bubble and now there's this person who wants to invade your permeable membrane and your brain is like oh no! But your heart is like Omg yes love me! That alone is scary! Which leads me to the next con, confusion! Ah confusion, like I said your heart may want it but your intellectual self is like "noooo". This leads to a spirit of fear. That probably shouldn't even have been there in the first place but dating makes you over think way to much(another con!). Sometimes we think that those emotions are placed there because they belong there but often times they don't. They happen to be there because you are deathly afraid, maybe you grew up in a household were parent love wasn't present. Maybe abuse, rejection, and  neglect were the main emotions in your life, so your brain has set such a high wall for love to enter that sometimes even the love of God gets pushed outside that wall. The last one is heartbreak. *Sigh* I think many of us have been there and it hurts, like the hulk came and said I'm going to rip your heart apart *hulk slam* yeah it's not fun and no one wants it.

Now to the fun part!

Pros. Sharing your life with someone. After you get over your insecurities and fear there is beauty in sharing your life, dreams, and goals with a person. I'm not saying you are going to be perfect and that all your problems should be fixed before you date because no sorry to break it to you but you are going to be far from perfect and so are they. But there is beauty in growing together and especially with God by your side, he will show you how fear and confusion can not co-inhabit with His love, which should be gloried in dating. I'm going to sound crazy but heartbreak is actually a positive to dating (did I take crazy pills today?). But let me just explain, having your heart broken actually allows you to grow. It shows you what you don't want in a relationship and God mold you into the person he sees you can be. Sometimes heartbreak is Gods way of pinching you and letting you know the world is no fairytale and that there is hurt and pain but that He is the only perfect love in your life and He is shaping you into the women/men that your future spouse deserves, he is also doing the same with your spouse.

There is something about Christian communities that have this idea that the first person you date is going to be your future spouse, to some people that works and that's amazing! But to many it doesn't, and that does not mean God does not love you or that you have failed Him in some kind of way. It just wasn't in His plans for you, and he sees the bigger picture not just the corners like we do.

Now look at all I said. It relates to dating another human right? Well if you reread it, you may notice that these also pertain to God and dating Him, not just humans! (she definitely took crazy pills). But yes your dating life isn't only reserved for humans and God never promises us a spouse but he does call us His bride. We are suppose to date Him first but sometimes the cons get in our way and we forget to see the positive, just like human dating. Dating is a wonderful thing. Dating Jesus is messy but it is perfect. Dating another human and having Jesus as centre is just as messy but still perfect because He is in it. Love never fails.

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” -Revelation 19:7-9

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