Female Empowerment Gone Wrong?

I saw two amazing things this past week, one of them being that picture right about by the wonderful Lauren DeMoss which says: "What does it cost you to support someone's dream or efforts? To say 'good job' every now and then or to 'like' someone's accomplishments on social media? To throw your hand up and say 'high five' to someone working hard on their dreams or their ministry or their weight loss or their selfie for that matter? What does it cost you to be happy for someone else's success or happiness instead of being put off by jealousy? To essentially say 'hey, I see you out there doing good.' What does it cost to be kind? Nothing. It cost you nothing, but let me tell you... it sure might mean a lot to them" (#wow) and the next being a this quote:

The source is Naomi from Love Taza's Instagram,as one was of her description in a picture and I just modified the saying a little, "Women need women. We need deep satisfying and loyal relationships with one another. We need to not only love each other more but love each other BETTER" (can I get an amen sisters?!.. no.. just me? okay.) There’s something that has been so heavy on my heart recently and it is exactly what those two pictures talk about. Lauren DeMoss’s quote is just amazing but it ties in so perfectly with Naomi’s.

We’re in this era where women are starting to recognize it is time to empower each other, and that is amazing I’m all for that but there is something that always tugs at my spirit. Are we, as women, being genuine about it? Is it becoming a power game, a quantity versus quality type thing? By that I mean, are you trying to show how much you can love women so you can get the title of “best women lover and inspirer(this isn't a word, I'm  sure of it)” award? Is it becoming something you do mediocrely? Trying to find as many girls you can befriend and just be nice and see if they think the world out of your kindness. In the Christian “culture” women are “ranked” by how kind, nurturing, powerful, or anointed they are(we don’t say it but I guess I’ll be bold enough to put it out there, I may be hated for it) and a lot of us will manipulated our way into favouritism. Like I said I’m all for women empowerment but we have to be genuine about it. Women lack REAL relationships with women, seriously we are supposed to count on each other, we are the only ones that understand what it feels like to be a women! We can love each other but what we really need is to love each other BETTER. By better I mean wholeheartedly, to love three women with your might rather than 15 mediocrely. “We don’t need to love each other more” you can love many people but not love them the right way, if you need an example of the "right way" look up to Jesus, John the Baptist, Peter, and Mary Magdalene. “But love each other BETTER” you may never learn to love perfectly, but you can learn to love better and more genuinely. Don’t take my rant as limitation to love; our heart grows with the more people we love, the right way. By no means am I a perfect lover or encourager, I actually suck at consoling, I just stand there if someone cries, yikes! Which is why this stings, because I want to love the women I know BETTER! I want to focus on the women I know and really connect and create genuine satisfying relationships with them. 

Can female empowerment go wrong? Can it actually happen? Has it already happen? I want to know your comments and thoughts! This is just a little rant before I start studying for the endocrine system test I have tomorrow, lets discuss this I am so curious about what my fellow women have to say!

With Love & Grace- Diana C.

Dotting Your i's And Crossing Your t's

I was in school on Tuesday and a friend of mine always sits on the left side, so he came he sat down took out his laptop and asked "Your not a *insert certain Christian denomination* are you?" First of all I never told him I was a Christian, he sort of just noticed it the first week of school and he's an agnostic. We became the best of buddies, I had questions and so did he, it was great making friends to someone like him. I said "No I'm not, why?" And he said something that impacted me so much that I was speechless.

It went like this:

"Well these ladies came to me wanting to talk about Jesus Christ, I mean that's cool but I wasn't interested, I learn that from you haha, but they insisted, I said no a couple of times and then they where like "You HAVE TO!!" And I said, "hold up I don't have to hear you, I don't think your Jesus would have made me hear him so why are you?" But I get it Diana, if I believed in someone like Jesus I wouldn't keep him to myself, if I believed in something so strong and with such grace, I would want to tell everyone too but Diana why do they want to shove it down peoples throats? You never had to tell me you were Christian but your actions, they speak. Words are such nonsense, we don't need more words, we need action. Why do Christian do that? Your deeds won't earn you a place in heaven. They don't share Jesus for the love they have for him but to earn something in return, they are dotting their i's and crossing their t's to earn heaven"

I seriously wanted to stand up and applaud and say amen brother! It seems we are more afraid of hell than our belief in the one who conquered it. Are your actions because you want an A+ in Christianity? Non believers notice your true intentions don't think you can fool people. Are you dotting your i's and crossing your t's to perfection? We believe in Jesus, not to be perfect and to earn a heavenly place. But because we adore the life out of a man who came down from his kingdom to save us! The man who wore a crown of thorns, the one that could easily call down fire from the sky while on the cross but instead said "Father forgive them for they do not know what they do" That's why we serve him and share him! Not push him down the throats of people. Serve him for the right reasons not to earn a spot on His good list. What are your intentions?

-With Love & Grace, Diana C

P.S. Michelle [the other half of this blog] is currently preparing for exams and her sister's wedding! This is her last year of university, so plenty of pressure!  For now as you notice it is me writing, she will be back shortly so stay tune for some Michelle posts! But for now I hope you don't get tired of my "With Love & Grace" haha. Thank you all for reading!

Elijah Hid And I Tried To Do The Same

1 Kings 19:1-18. 

This haunted me for two weeks, but let me give why the reason why. A few months ago my youth elder asked me and a few of our youths to help with the our church's kid ministry and teach them. Now just at the mention of speaking in front of people makes me shake, so when she told me I literally ran away (this is true I went to the other side of the church) and her being the way she is, she pushed me to do it, in the best way possible. I stopped thinking about it until two weeks ago when she handed me a brown envelope and goes "Here's your class" I nearly had a heart attack. There were many text messages sent to her about being panicked (you can ask her shes still laughing). One of the reasons why I started blogging with Michelle was because I knew some of these words and thoughts were going to help us for later, maybe they didn't apply to our life right now when we were writing them but they will some day. My someday came and two posts stood out, both by Michelle, Fear....A Trust Issue? and Breaking Up With Your Comfort Zone for these post I am forever grateful.

But what really made me chuckle was what I had to talk about and that was 1 Kings 19:1-18 "Elijah flees to Horeb to hide from Jezebel". Oh the irony! There I am trying to hide and run away from something that scares the life out of me and there's Elijah hiding from someone who scares the life out of him, we might as well be besties. Those two weeks for me were panic weeks, I would sit and stare at those bible pages and imagine talking to kids and I would shake. Yes kids are scary to me, I think it is far more important to preach to them than to older people (only by a little though), they have the future literally in their hands and here I am having a part in this child's development, I get to shape their history and I want to do the best job possible and at the same time I want to hide.

He replied, "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your alters, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too" 1 Kings 19:10

The word zealous means to do something with passion. Elijah had served God so zealously to the point that someone wanted to kill him. I laughed because he had a reason to hide and I'm here hiding from kids. It was God's way of showing me that if he can do it, of course I can do it too. Elijah tried to hide and die and I was trying to do the same (expect the dying part). I was trying to find my cave and just sleep in it. Just like God woke up Elijah, he also woke me up with "What are you doing here"(1 Kings 19:9) and I couldn't answer him the way Elijah did because I wasn't serving him zealously but what I could say was, "I will learn to serve you zealously like Elijah, it is my turn now." And so I stopped panicking and started writing my class for Sunday morning. The outcome was great. I sat down with the kids around a table, we discussed about Elijah and God and how he will always provide for you when you are scared and trying to hide. We talked, we laughed and we drew. It was lovely and I am so glad I came out of that cave to serve Him zealously, I have the honour to be part of their development, what more can I ask for? God is too good. Now I leave you now with the verse the kids have to memorize for homework:

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of deliverance"- Psalms 32:7

He surrounds you with songs of deliverance!

With Love & Grace- Diana C

The Wonders of Dating

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 "We love because he first loved us." -1 John 4:19

Dating is probably the scariest most old fashion tradition that exist besides marriage. I guess now a days dating is losing it's value and it's became just another status on Facebook. I'm going to venture out on only two things about dating today. The first the cons: how scary and intimating it really is, and the pros: how wonderful it is.

I've always laughed  when someone asks "I have good news or bad news. Which one do you want first?" And usually we all say "bad news!" So I'm going to state the "bad news" first.

Cons. Sharing your life with someone. It is terrifying, as an only child I am use to my own space and bubble, so letting someone else into my bubble is icky. I know this isn't just for only child's. You may live in a house of 8 brothers and sisters but you still have your own bubble and now there's this person who wants to invade your permeable membrane and your brain is like oh no! But your heart is like Omg yes love me! That alone is scary! Which leads me to the next con, confusion! Ah confusion, like I said your heart may want it but your intellectual self is like "noooo". This leads to a spirit of fear. That probably shouldn't even have been there in the first place but dating makes you over think way to much(another con!). Sometimes we think that those emotions are placed there because they belong there but often times they don't. They happen to be there because you are deathly afraid, maybe you grew up in a household were parent love wasn't present. Maybe abuse, rejection, and  neglect were the main emotions in your life, so your brain has set such a high wall for love to enter that sometimes even the love of God gets pushed outside that wall. The last one is heartbreak. *Sigh* I think many of us have been there and it hurts, like the hulk came and said I'm going to rip your heart apart *hulk slam* yeah it's not fun and no one wants it.

Now to the fun part!

Pros. Sharing your life with someone. After you get over your insecurities and fear there is beauty in sharing your life, dreams, and goals with a person. I'm not saying you are going to be perfect and that all your problems should be fixed before you date because no sorry to break it to you but you are going to be far from perfect and so are they. But there is beauty in growing together and especially with God by your side, he will show you how fear and confusion can not co-inhabit with His love, which should be gloried in dating. I'm going to sound crazy but heartbreak is actually a positive to dating (did I take crazy pills today?). But let me just explain, having your heart broken actually allows you to grow. It shows you what you don't want in a relationship and God mold you into the person he sees you can be. Sometimes heartbreak is Gods way of pinching you and letting you know the world is no fairytale and that there is hurt and pain but that He is the only perfect love in your life and He is shaping you into the women/men that your future spouse deserves, he is also doing the same with your spouse.

There is something about Christian communities that have this idea that the first person you date is going to be your future spouse, to some people that works and that's amazing! But to many it doesn't, and that does not mean God does not love you or that you have failed Him in some kind of way. It just wasn't in His plans for you, and he sees the bigger picture not just the corners like we do.

Now look at all I said. It relates to dating another human right? Well if you reread it, you may notice that these also pertain to God and dating Him, not just humans! (she definitely took crazy pills). But yes your dating life isn't only reserved for humans and God never promises us a spouse but he does call us His bride. We are suppose to date Him first but sometimes the cons get in our way and we forget to see the positive, just like human dating. Dating is a wonderful thing. Dating Jesus is messy but it is perfect. Dating another human and having Jesus as centre is just as messy but still perfect because He is in it. Love never fails.

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” -Revelation 19:7-9

Spring Cleaning

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By definition spring cleaning is a thorough cleaning of a house or room, typically undertaken in spring. This is pretty awesome, winter is such a downer and you can start getting messy with all the socks and coats and dirty boots everywhere. It's a time to take the chunkiness and black clothing out of our wardrobe and bring in the light fresh colours. It's a time to clean the floors and walls and remove any unwanted furniture piece to make room for new space.

I think it's time to not only spring clean our homes and rooms but time to spring clean our lives,thoughts and dreams. We all need it even if you think otherwise. Here are a few tips to get you into the spring cleaning mood! 

Here we go!

1. Sit down and reflect.

Yes I know that sounds kind of boring and useless but I swear it really gets you going!! Get to think on this past season of winter. What didn't you like? Was it laziness? Lack of self-control? Too judgmental? Etc

2. Write them down!

Writing things down makes the situation real and visible to the eyes. If you just think of it you might never change it because it was never actually real just a thought of your imagination. So write it down and make it real on paper.

3. Blueprint.

The plans God has for us are so much better than the plans we have, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have plans and goals for the future or simply to be a better you in Christ. So you've thought and written down the things you would like to change. Now write down how you can change them WITH God at your side. Don't try to write plans excluding God ;)

4. Actually spring clean.

Nothing gets you more motivated than cleaning your living space. Seriously throw away everything unwanted or that should be thrown out (you know what that is) and let it go. It's time for more space and less clutter.

5. Letting go of certain people.

This one is probably one of the harder ones. Breaking off a friendship or relationship is tough but sometimes it's the only way to bettering yourself. Deep down inside we know exactly who we need to let go of and sometimes we just don't. And these people might not actually be present in your life but they live in your memory as if they were. So bye bye to negative people even if that means you'll be alone, it's worth it trust me!

Now for the last tip! Drum roll please!

6. Spring clean those thoughts!

Yup there is such a thing as cleaning your thoughts. Sometimes our thoughts can be so negative and sometimes just mean to you and to those around you. Pray to the Holy Spirit to clean all thoughts of impurity, lack of self-worth, and judgement out the window. Allow Him to place thoughts of love, compassion, worthiness and reverence towards The Lord and His people.

I am no expert on this nor do I go to school for this, but these are just tips that I'm going to start doing in myself as of now. I hope you join me on this spring cleaning spree and feel alive! Not numb like my fingers do in this cold Canadian winter (which doesn't seem to end!). Know that God will be with you every step of the way and this cleaning might get messy, quite ironic. It might open drawers you have been wanting to keep shut and out of sight, but it's time to clean those drawers no matter how painful and throw away everything hurtful or unnecessary in there. You'll laugh, cry and get angry but at the end, everything will be gone and clean and smelling like lavender Pinesol!

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12: 1-2

With Love & Grace - Diana C.

Don't Be Fooled By Prince Hans

If you know me you would know I am absolutely obsessed with the movie Frozen, for more than a couple of reasons. But as the title says, for the girls reading this, don't be fooled by the Prince Hans in your life. I've meet a couple of Prince Hans' in my life before I met Kristoff. In this post we aren't going to discuss the Kristoff's in your life or potential Kristoff's in your life. We are discussing the Prince Hans that is, or might show up in your life.

If you haven't seen the movie, first of, what are you doing with your life? Please go watch it. But this is going to be a big spoiler to the ones who haven't watched it, so if you don't like spoilers and are planning to watch the movie I suggest you opt out!

Now to those who don't mind spoilers (fun fact: I absolutely love spoilers) and have already seen the movie. Prince Hans wooed Princess Anna of Arendelle to marry her. He was cute, quirky, and handsome and she was ready for a man because her loneliness was overbearing. After a few incidents Anna was struck by ice by queen Elsa and it went to her heart. "Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart" - Grand Pabbie (Troll). So Kristoff and Olaf (the best snowman ever) took Anna back to Prince Hans, and when they were about to kiss the worst possible noise came out of his mouth, and it went like this;

"If only there were someone out there who loved you......But you, You were so desperate for love, you were willing to marry me, just like that"

My heart absolutely sank and I wanted him beheaded immediately! I felt her pain, I can only imagine the feeling of her heart dropping and when she said to Olaf, "I was wrong about him, he wasn't what I dreamed off" I connected. I was Anna before. So blinded by the shiny things and the pretty words of a man; it can really get to you. Now Anna was suffering from loneliness, and it always reminds me of a quote that says "love when you are ready, not when you are lonely." Now that quote speaks volumes, there's something about my generation that absolutely hates being lonely. I know, I grew up an only child so I understand the fear of potently ending up being lonely forever, you just don't want to.

You see that's the issue, when we are lonely we settle. Your Prince Hans probably isn't going after your throne or kingdom but maybe after your purity, brain, and worst of all your heart, and not in the "godly way" or even a respectable way in that manner. You know exactly the boys I'm talking about, the ones that don't know you in person but in private they are your boyfriend and they want to touch you like you're written in braille. The ones that have the sweetest words but their actions are bitter. The ones that you feel put in nothing for you, but you put your whole self on the line for them.

Even though Anna's heart was literally frozen, so were her emotions. She'd been rejected by her sister, someone she loved. So she wanted someone else to love her. Rejection is one of the worst things a human could ever experience. Once you feel rejected our first thing is to find something or someone who validates your work, love, or existence. So for Anna, the first person who showed love meant an automatic wedding. It seems funny when it's written down and read out loud but how many times have you imagined your self in a wedding dress with someone who just said you have nice shoes? That's a problem. Desperation for love can lead a women to the wrong places, I would know. The only place you find true love is in your Creators arms. In the movie, Queen Elsa and Kristoff kept telling Anna she couldn't marry him. You know when your family or friends tell you that someone may be good but just not good for you? Don't ignore it. We love to ignore the signs. Don't be fooled.

Anna's frozen heart was thawed because she saved her sister from death. This is the best part of the whole movie (besides the musical parts) because it shows how true love doesn't rely on a Prince to save your day. She had this misconception that her life was going to start on her wedding day, let me make this clear YOUR LIFE DOES NOT START ON YOUR WEDDING DAY OR THE DAY YOU FALL IN LOVE, it started when you were born!Your happiness and self love should never, and I repeat never, rely on another imperfect human but only in the one who is the Author of love; the perfect love.

So please girls, let's not fool ourselves into thinking we have a Kristoff when we really just have a Prince Hans in our hands and fooling ourselves to believe that the you in a relationship will be a better and happier version of you, because in all honestly and from personal experience you actually end up feeling lonelier. "Only true love can thaw a frozen heart." And the only true love who can thaw your heart, make you feel complete, loved and adored is Christ. He is your first love, because he knew you before anyone else did, he has dibs on you. Amen for that. So don't settle for less than what you deserve and don't let the cute words fill your head because they only leave a sour taste. 

"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right." Songs of Solomon 8:4

With Love & Grace- Diana C

Stop the Glorification of Busy

 I'm busy. How many times a week have you caught yourself saying that? How many times a day? Now a days when you ask some on how they've been, a good 80% of the time you get a "oh I'm good, just been busy". Now if you're like me with work, school, church and household responsibilities, its pretty easy to get caught up in the busy game. It's begun to get in the way of things and we begin to "prioritize" our time. In my own experience, if I'm too busy I would usually cut out the time I had set out to read the bible. I would convince myself that I was too tired to read tonight, and that God would understand. God is merciful and He does understand, but overall He knows the intentions of your heart. I mean, if you were too tired to read a few bible verses before bed, but you weren't too tired to browse Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or any other social media, or if you still had the energy to text someone for another 30 minutes, then He knows. The intentions of your heart reflect through your actions, and your actions speak louder than your words.

"God would surely have known it, for he knows the secrets of every heart." Psalm 44:21 NLT
"Then he said to them, “You like to appear righteous in public, but God knows your hearts. What this world honors is detestable in the sight of God." Luke 16:15 NLT

I know that we hear it ALL the time, but I'm gonna say it one more time, just for the record. We need to get our priorities straight and put God first. It's no joke that we do. If you really put everything in order and let Him have His rightful spot in your heart (number 1 ahem) then everything slowly but surely begins to fall into place. It's a promise in the word that if you seek first the Kingdom everything else follows.

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:33

So if I seek God first and His kingdom and live righteously, then He will give me EVERYTHING I need? YUP, even time management skills (I could really use those sometimes).

A lot of the time we use "being busy" as an excuse to be lazy. I'm not saying that God will get mad at you, He loves you beyond belief and He understands. But for the sake of that love He has for us, we should really take the time to honor Him by seeking Him. Instead of cutting out your prayer time or bible time, try cutting out the things that have no benefit to you. Or simply just do it no matter how tired or busy you may be. It pays off and God see's the effort you put in, and He loves that. It's about time we STOP the glorification of busy, and do ourselves a favor and give Him the rightful place in our lives and hearts.

Lots of Love, Michelle♥

Don’t Forget What Was Said in Private

“But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” - Genesis 2:16, 17

“The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.” -Genesis 3:6

& Just like that, Adam forgot what was said in private, in the secret place, where God and him where the only ones.

Doesn’t that happen to you? You pray about something you know what He’s saying to you, you hear Him, you know exactly what He feels for you but as soon as you step out of that secret place you completely forget about what was said between you and Him. I know it has for me, and I never understood why it is so easy to forget the promises and words of love the Father has laid upon our lives and believing the lies of the enemy, the one who wants to destroy you. Why does negativity stick like glue but the positive words of our Father slip off like soap in water?  

It is so easy to see your failures and mistakes, and to see how far you have to still reach your potential and that dream you’ve always wanted. It’s so easy to say “I’m not ready” and for the rest of the world to tell you that you aren’t ready. But why, why on earth are you forgetting what your Heavenly Father tells you every time you fall at his feet?!

 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10

“And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name.’” Acts 22:16

Are these not His words to you?! “AND NOW WHY DO YOU WAIT?” That question is one of the questions that can make people stutter like they were Moses, the famous “It’s impossible,” that's when "We forget that IMPOSSIBLE is one of God’s favorite words. Don't let that word get in your way of your dreams!!” -unknown. Or we make excuses and declare all these statements in their lives about how “we aren’t ready.”  And granted some people aren’t ready for a lot of things; newsflash who is really ready for anything?!  And where is the joy in life if you don’t jump of a cliff to the unknown. God will go before you, and if you know that His presence is coming with you, if you and God have had this conversation (only you and him know exactly what conversation it is) then why are you waiting? Why are you forgetting the promises that he has breathed in you. The most crucial part here is, do not confuse your desire for his will. His will, will only lead you to a place of glory, which does not dismiss the fact that there may be bumps on the road, but ultimately it is a place where he can glorify Himself. Your desires may lead you to the wrong places, try to see the bigger picture, but desires and the will of God will be for another post.

We have to renew our minds every day, we cannot forget like Adam what was said in secret. For the person reading this, I know God has spoken to you, and it may not be literally speaking, it may be a dream, a passion in your heart. Those aren’t there for just any reason, don’t be afraid to go and live your dream. Don’t ever tame your spark because others just can’t handle it. The only one that matters has put the spark in you; never tame it. Always keep those God given words in your heart and mostly in your mind. Adam was supposed to be the voice of reason; the light in the darkness, but he forgot the words directly said to him by God and well you know what happens next.

Live in the grace, goodness and love of God. I hope you never forget your tears, laughs, half smiles, serious talks, funny talks, your petitions and your selfish ones (we all have them), your quiet and your “I Can’t Tame This Tongue’ talks in your secret place with God. I hope you never forget His response to you, the silent ones and the ‘This is So Clear’ responses. I hope you never forget the night that Jesus came and wrapped his love around you; only you and He knew exactly how that felt. Don’t forget it, you will need it on the days you most want to live out your dreams.

“All fear removed, I breathe you in, I lean into

 Your love, oh your love”

With Love & Grace- Diana C