Female Empowerment Gone Wrong?

I saw two amazing things this past week, one of them being that picture right about by the wonderful Lauren DeMoss which says: "What does it cost you to support someone's dream or efforts? To say 'good job' every now and then or to 'like' someone's accomplishments on social media? To throw your hand up and say 'high five' to someone working hard on their dreams or their ministry or their weight loss or their selfie for that matter? What does it cost you to be happy for someone else's success or happiness instead of being put off by jealousy? To essentially say 'hey, I see you out there doing good.' What does it cost to be kind? Nothing. It cost you nothing, but let me tell you... it sure might mean a lot to them" (#wow) and the next being a this quote:

The source is Naomi from Love Taza's Instagram,as one was of her description in a picture and I just modified the saying a little, "Women need women. We need deep satisfying and loyal relationships with one another. We need to not only love each other more but love each other BETTER" (can I get an amen sisters?!.. no.. just me? okay.) There’s something that has been so heavy on my heart recently and it is exactly what those two pictures talk about. Lauren DeMoss’s quote is just amazing but it ties in so perfectly with Naomi’s.

We’re in this era where women are starting to recognize it is time to empower each other, and that is amazing I’m all for that but there is something that always tugs at my spirit. Are we, as women, being genuine about it? Is it becoming a power game, a quantity versus quality type thing? By that I mean, are you trying to show how much you can love women so you can get the title of “best women lover and inspirer(this isn't a word, I'm  sure of it)” award? Is it becoming something you do mediocrely? Trying to find as many girls you can befriend and just be nice and see if they think the world out of your kindness. In the Christian “culture” women are “ranked” by how kind, nurturing, powerful, or anointed they are(we don’t say it but I guess I’ll be bold enough to put it out there, I may be hated for it) and a lot of us will manipulated our way into favouritism. Like I said I’m all for women empowerment but we have to be genuine about it. Women lack REAL relationships with women, seriously we are supposed to count on each other, we are the only ones that understand what it feels like to be a women! We can love each other but what we really need is to love each other BETTER. By better I mean wholeheartedly, to love three women with your might rather than 15 mediocrely. “We don’t need to love each other more” you can love many people but not love them the right way, if you need an example of the "right way" look up to Jesus, John the Baptist, Peter, and Mary Magdalene. “But love each other BETTER” you may never learn to love perfectly, but you can learn to love better and more genuinely. Don’t take my rant as limitation to love; our heart grows with the more people we love, the right way. By no means am I a perfect lover or encourager, I actually suck at consoling, I just stand there if someone cries, yikes! Which is why this stings, because I want to love the women I know BETTER! I want to focus on the women I know and really connect and create genuine satisfying relationships with them. 

Can female empowerment go wrong? Can it actually happen? Has it already happen? I want to know your comments and thoughts! This is just a little rant before I start studying for the endocrine system test I have tomorrow, lets discuss this I am so curious about what my fellow women have to say!

With Love & Grace- Diana C.

There is no flaw in you

I’m going to get personal here; I planned a completely different post for today. This is definitely not in my plans, but I’m sure they are in Gods and I’m just rolling with it. So yesterday I had one of those “ugly fat” days. We all get them, I’m pretty positive about that. In the past I would say 7-8 months I gain about 10 pounds, From 115 to 125. To many that’s no big deal, but for me it has affected me in a way I actually did not understand or liked. So I obviously pushed it aside.  Once I pushed it aside I just kept eating and being lazy, I swear I love doing both but I can tell it gets you into a position in your life where you feel stuck. I’ve been here before, all my life I have fluctuated in my weight, since I can remember I’ve always herd the words “omg she’s so chubby” or “wow she got so skinny”.  I wish society and my own brain wouldn’t worry about how my body looks or how my hips cling on to fabric. 

Yesterday I was talking to my boyfriend and we were talking about being healthy, he’s recently lost a lot of weight, “relationship weight” , but I, after 2 years of dating just started gaining it. While we were talking I simply just broke down into sobs, you know the ones with those Chewbacca noises? Yup that’s the kind of crying I did. He was terrified and was trying everything to console me. But I was crying because I couldn’t say that I loved my body. It hurts to not be able to say that. What hurt me the most was that I know 90% of the girls I interact with and girls I don’t even know, cry about that same reason. So cried for me and I cried for them.

““I love this part” we’ll say it about our favourite song.  Why can’t we say it about our body? “ -unknown.

So while I was having my breakdown, in my head I started saying “I love my body and it is beautiful” and the more I repeated it the calmer my whole soul got. That’s when I understood, that you must also be kind to yourself every single day with words. Words affect the world in such a way that it has changed the course of history. Words have created history. So why not create the most beautiful, stunning, gorgeous love story to yourself. You owe it to yourself to love the skin you are in. There is a line in a spoken word by Natalie Patterson that says “We own something we never paid for, we didn’t earn it so we don’t comprehend the value of it.” We do not comprehend the value of the most beautiful thing created, our bodies because Jesus paid for it, and we didn’t. It was gift of grace, and we misuse it, talk nasty to it, and downright ignore it. It’s time to start saying “I love this part” instead of saying “I hate this part” or “I wish I could change this”. We need to stop the “I am beautiful BUT” and just say “I am beautiful.”

I encourage you to write a love letter to yourself. Telling yourself what you like and what you admire about yourself. The only catch is that you are not allowed to write anything that you think you need to improve or fix about yourself. You are only allowed to write compliments, we don’t receive compliments very well, so start by receiving your own. Always remember on those days when you just can't seem to love yourself hard enough and you can't see past the unworthiness; God doesn't measure your worth by the size of your hips.

“You are altogether beautiful, my love, there is no flaw in you” Song of Solomon 4:7

With love and grace- Diana

p.s I'm adding this amazing spoken word, it is outstanding!

Link for moblie users :) Enjoy!!

 " 'You are beautiful, no matter what they say words can't bring you down' -- BUT they do.." -Mike Young