Female Empowerment Gone Wrong?

I saw two amazing things this past week, one of them being that picture right about by the wonderful Lauren DeMoss which says: "What does it cost you to support someone's dream or efforts? To say 'good job' every now and then or to 'like' someone's accomplishments on social media? To throw your hand up and say 'high five' to someone working hard on their dreams or their ministry or their weight loss or their selfie for that matter? What does it cost you to be happy for someone else's success or happiness instead of being put off by jealousy? To essentially say 'hey, I see you out there doing good.' What does it cost to be kind? Nothing. It cost you nothing, but let me tell you... it sure might mean a lot to them" (#wow) and the next being a this quote:

The source is Naomi from Love Taza's Instagram,as one was of her description in a picture and I just modified the saying a little, "Women need women. We need deep satisfying and loyal relationships with one another. We need to not only love each other more but love each other BETTER" (can I get an amen sisters?!.. no.. just me? okay.) There’s something that has been so heavy on my heart recently and it is exactly what those two pictures talk about. Lauren DeMoss’s quote is just amazing but it ties in so perfectly with Naomi’s.

We’re in this era where women are starting to recognize it is time to empower each other, and that is amazing I’m all for that but there is something that always tugs at my spirit. Are we, as women, being genuine about it? Is it becoming a power game, a quantity versus quality type thing? By that I mean, are you trying to show how much you can love women so you can get the title of “best women lover and inspirer(this isn't a word, I'm  sure of it)” award? Is it becoming something you do mediocrely? Trying to find as many girls you can befriend and just be nice and see if they think the world out of your kindness. In the Christian “culture” women are “ranked” by how kind, nurturing, powerful, or anointed they are(we don’t say it but I guess I’ll be bold enough to put it out there, I may be hated for it) and a lot of us will manipulated our way into favouritism. Like I said I’m all for women empowerment but we have to be genuine about it. Women lack REAL relationships with women, seriously we are supposed to count on each other, we are the only ones that understand what it feels like to be a women! We can love each other but what we really need is to love each other BETTER. By better I mean wholeheartedly, to love three women with your might rather than 15 mediocrely. “We don’t need to love each other more” you can love many people but not love them the right way, if you need an example of the "right way" look up to Jesus, John the Baptist, Peter, and Mary Magdalene. “But love each other BETTER” you may never learn to love perfectly, but you can learn to love better and more genuinely. Don’t take my rant as limitation to love; our heart grows with the more people we love, the right way. By no means am I a perfect lover or encourager, I actually suck at consoling, I just stand there if someone cries, yikes! Which is why this stings, because I want to love the women I know BETTER! I want to focus on the women I know and really connect and create genuine satisfying relationships with them. 

Can female empowerment go wrong? Can it actually happen? Has it already happen? I want to know your comments and thoughts! This is just a little rant before I start studying for the endocrine system test I have tomorrow, lets discuss this I am so curious about what my fellow women have to say!

With Love & Grace- Diana C.

The Wonders of Dating

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 "We love because he first loved us." -1 John 4:19

Dating is probably the scariest most old fashion tradition that exist besides marriage. I guess now a days dating is losing it's value and it's became just another status on Facebook. I'm going to venture out on only two things about dating today. The first the cons: how scary and intimating it really is, and the pros: how wonderful it is.

I've always laughed  when someone asks "I have good news or bad news. Which one do you want first?" And usually we all say "bad news!" So I'm going to state the "bad news" first.

Cons. Sharing your life with someone. It is terrifying, as an only child I am use to my own space and bubble, so letting someone else into my bubble is icky. I know this isn't just for only child's. You may live in a house of 8 brothers and sisters but you still have your own bubble and now there's this person who wants to invade your permeable membrane and your brain is like oh no! But your heart is like Omg yes love me! That alone is scary! Which leads me to the next con, confusion! Ah confusion, like I said your heart may want it but your intellectual self is like "noooo". This leads to a spirit of fear. That probably shouldn't even have been there in the first place but dating makes you over think way to much(another con!). Sometimes we think that those emotions are placed there because they belong there but often times they don't. They happen to be there because you are deathly afraid, maybe you grew up in a household were parent love wasn't present. Maybe abuse, rejection, and  neglect were the main emotions in your life, so your brain has set such a high wall for love to enter that sometimes even the love of God gets pushed outside that wall. The last one is heartbreak. *Sigh* I think many of us have been there and it hurts, like the hulk came and said I'm going to rip your heart apart *hulk slam* yeah it's not fun and no one wants it.

Now to the fun part!

Pros. Sharing your life with someone. After you get over your insecurities and fear there is beauty in sharing your life, dreams, and goals with a person. I'm not saying you are going to be perfect and that all your problems should be fixed before you date because no sorry to break it to you but you are going to be far from perfect and so are they. But there is beauty in growing together and especially with God by your side, he will show you how fear and confusion can not co-inhabit with His love, which should be gloried in dating. I'm going to sound crazy but heartbreak is actually a positive to dating (did I take crazy pills today?). But let me just explain, having your heart broken actually allows you to grow. It shows you what you don't want in a relationship and God mold you into the person he sees you can be. Sometimes heartbreak is Gods way of pinching you and letting you know the world is no fairytale and that there is hurt and pain but that He is the only perfect love in your life and He is shaping you into the women/men that your future spouse deserves, he is also doing the same with your spouse.

There is something about Christian communities that have this idea that the first person you date is going to be your future spouse, to some people that works and that's amazing! But to many it doesn't, and that does not mean God does not love you or that you have failed Him in some kind of way. It just wasn't in His plans for you, and he sees the bigger picture not just the corners like we do.

Now look at all I said. It relates to dating another human right? Well if you reread it, you may notice that these also pertain to God and dating Him, not just humans! (she definitely took crazy pills). But yes your dating life isn't only reserved for humans and God never promises us a spouse but he does call us His bride. We are suppose to date Him first but sometimes the cons get in our way and we forget to see the positive, just like human dating. Dating is a wonderful thing. Dating Jesus is messy but it is perfect. Dating another human and having Jesus as centre is just as messy but still perfect because He is in it. Love never fails.

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” -Revelation 19:7-9

Don't Be Fooled By Prince Hans

If you know me you would know I am absolutely obsessed with the movie Frozen, for more than a couple of reasons. But as the title says, for the girls reading this, don't be fooled by the Prince Hans in your life. I've meet a couple of Prince Hans' in my life before I met Kristoff. In this post we aren't going to discuss the Kristoff's in your life or potential Kristoff's in your life. We are discussing the Prince Hans that is, or might show up in your life.

If you haven't seen the movie, first of, what are you doing with your life? Please go watch it. But this is going to be a big spoiler to the ones who haven't watched it, so if you don't like spoilers and are planning to watch the movie I suggest you opt out!

Now to those who don't mind spoilers (fun fact: I absolutely love spoilers) and have already seen the movie. Prince Hans wooed Princess Anna of Arendelle to marry her. He was cute, quirky, and handsome and she was ready for a man because her loneliness was overbearing. After a few incidents Anna was struck by ice by queen Elsa and it went to her heart. "Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart" - Grand Pabbie (Troll). So Kristoff and Olaf (the best snowman ever) took Anna back to Prince Hans, and when they were about to kiss the worst possible noise came out of his mouth, and it went like this;

"If only there were someone out there who loved you......But you, You were so desperate for love, you were willing to marry me, just like that"

My heart absolutely sank and I wanted him beheaded immediately! I felt her pain, I can only imagine the feeling of her heart dropping and when she said to Olaf, "I was wrong about him, he wasn't what I dreamed off" I connected. I was Anna before. So blinded by the shiny things and the pretty words of a man; it can really get to you. Now Anna was suffering from loneliness, and it always reminds me of a quote that says "love when you are ready, not when you are lonely." Now that quote speaks volumes, there's something about my generation that absolutely hates being lonely. I know, I grew up an only child so I understand the fear of potently ending up being lonely forever, you just don't want to.

You see that's the issue, when we are lonely we settle. Your Prince Hans probably isn't going after your throne or kingdom but maybe after your purity, brain, and worst of all your heart, and not in the "godly way" or even a respectable way in that manner. You know exactly the boys I'm talking about, the ones that don't know you in person but in private they are your boyfriend and they want to touch you like you're written in braille. The ones that have the sweetest words but their actions are bitter. The ones that you feel put in nothing for you, but you put your whole self on the line for them.

Even though Anna's heart was literally frozen, so were her emotions. She'd been rejected by her sister, someone she loved. So she wanted someone else to love her. Rejection is one of the worst things a human could ever experience. Once you feel rejected our first thing is to find something or someone who validates your work, love, or existence. So for Anna, the first person who showed love meant an automatic wedding. It seems funny when it's written down and read out loud but how many times have you imagined your self in a wedding dress with someone who just said you have nice shoes? That's a problem. Desperation for love can lead a women to the wrong places, I would know. The only place you find true love is in your Creators arms. In the movie, Queen Elsa and Kristoff kept telling Anna she couldn't marry him. You know when your family or friends tell you that someone may be good but just not good for you? Don't ignore it. We love to ignore the signs. Don't be fooled.

Anna's frozen heart was thawed because she saved her sister from death. This is the best part of the whole movie (besides the musical parts) because it shows how true love doesn't rely on a Prince to save your day. She had this misconception that her life was going to start on her wedding day, let me make this clear YOUR LIFE DOES NOT START ON YOUR WEDDING DAY OR THE DAY YOU FALL IN LOVE, it started when you were born!Your happiness and self love should never, and I repeat never, rely on another imperfect human but only in the one who is the Author of love; the perfect love.

So please girls, let's not fool ourselves into thinking we have a Kristoff when we really just have a Prince Hans in our hands and fooling ourselves to believe that the you in a relationship will be a better and happier version of you, because in all honestly and from personal experience you actually end up feeling lonelier. "Only true love can thaw a frozen heart." And the only true love who can thaw your heart, make you feel complete, loved and adored is Christ. He is your first love, because he knew you before anyone else did, he has dibs on you. Amen for that. So don't settle for less than what you deserve and don't let the cute words fill your head because they only leave a sour taste. 

"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right." Songs of Solomon 8:4

With Love & Grace- Diana C