Stop Remembering What God Has Forgotten

 A few weekends ago, I had the privilege of going to an all women’s retreat that was organized by my church. The point of the retreat was of deliverance. By this, I mean that the goal was to let the Holy Spirit rid anything in us that was holding us back from the true potential that God has in store for us. Many areas were covered, and I can tell you that there was breakthrough in many areas; but there was one area that really impacted me, and I strongly believe that God had been preparing me for days, even weeks before that. That topic was forgiveness. But not your conventional “I forgive you, you forgive me” forgiveness. I mean, the real deal, the tough kind; forgiveness of the self. I can’t even tell you how many times I have been guilty of this. It was a really annoying cycle that I wanted to get out of for years. I would do something, feel guilty,  I would pray and repent, and get the forgiveness I so desired. But what happened after that? For years, I remained in a cycle of feeling extremely guilty, dirty, unworthy of forgiveness. Even though I KNEW that God had forgiven me, I just couldn't let it go. I wouldn't forgive myself. The lie repeated itself in my head that I was unworthy of forgiveness; that maybe God didn't forgive me after all.
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 A few weeks ago as I was praying for expectancy in that retreat, it came to me. God was like “NEWSFLASH” He HAD forgiven me; He just wanted me to forgive myself. Whatever sin you have committed doesn't define who you are, no matter how big or small. That’s where my freedom was. In forgiving myself, just as Jesus had forgiven me when he died on that cross for me. The bible says that we are new creations, so why don’t we believe it? Jesus says we are forgiven, but STILL we don’t believe it. We are too stuck in our own little bubbles, that if Jesus himself stood in front of us and told us we were forgiven, we probably still wouldn’t believe it.  We are all a work in progress, and that’s a fact! There isn’t anyone out there who can say that they are perfect and free of temptation, and if something is true, it's that we will always fall short of His Glory. 
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I held myself captive for years, and I know that I'm not the only one out there who has let guilt and shame take over. I'm here to tell you that God's grace and mercy is sufficient. His love is never ending, and you are never too deep into sin to be redeemed. We imprison ourselves by letting ourselves believe that we aren't worth it, and that whatever we did is too great. I can just imagine Jesus being like "why are you still on that? I forgave you already, and you are made clean" but then as imperfect and flawed as we are, we go and play "dress up" and we  play the role of the sinner, even though that isn’t who we are. What we fail to see is that in the Bible, there are TONS of people who made mistakes, but God used that for HIS glory! My God is truly a God of second chances! So I will leave you with a word that has helped me in my walk. It’s helped me realize that even if you mess up, it is okay, you aren’t perfect, but as long as you get up, wipe off the dirt and keep going, that’s what marks the difference.  Just remember to stop remembering what God has already forgotten.

“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again…” Proverbs 24:16

With Love, Michelle♥