The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness. We all want it, we all strive for it, but sometimes it can seem so distant and impossible to reach. I mean, it's normal to have an off day. You won't feel happy every day of your life, but it's something that we as human beings desire. No one likes feeling down in the dumps, and sometimes when you are feeling down, you feel like you just can't pull yourself out of it. I know how this feels firsthand. It happens to everyone. There are days where nothing seems to be going right for you, so the light at the end of the tunnel seems light years away. But I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be trapped in that sadness forever, and that there is a solution.

There have been days where I can't even bear holding it in anymore and you have to let out everything that you feel. I specifically remember one day that I was trying to "be strong" and hold it in, and as soon as my mom saw me she asked if I was okay, and I just broke down. All those feelings came gushing out, every problem, and all that emotion came out as I just cried. I bet my mom was just standing there like what is going on here? But she just came over, gave me a hug and we prayed together. I can honestly tell you, that it totally helped. But I began to think, and I realized, God does that with us all the time...atleast He wants to and we don't let Him do His thing. God constantly waits for us to speak to Him; to tell Him whats going on in our lives, our feelings etc. But we just pass Him by. He is an all knowing God, so he already knows every thought that goes through our head before we even think it, but He just wants to see that willingness on our part to reach out to our Father.

It comes to a point when we've held it in so long, that we just explode, and as the loving Father that He is, He takes us in His arms, and pours out His love for us. Even though you may not feel loved, God reminds us of His love for us, that He even sent His only son Jesus to die for you and me. It blows my mind to think that Jesus was thinking about me, and with so much love gave up His life so that I could be free. His love goes so deep and it runs so strong, that it bothers me to think that some days I believe the lie that I am unloved or something crazy like that.

I think that as a generation, we've been conditioned to believe that showing emotion and our feelings is wrong. We've been shown that we shouldn't bother people with our problems. But I strongly feel that this mindset is so erroneous. We are called to fellowship, and to be in communion with our brothers and sisters in Christ. You never know how God could use someone to bring revelation to your life if you just open up. We also have to start being real with God. He already knows whats going on, but you brushing it off as nothing and pretending you're okay...well you aren't fooling Him or anyone for that matter (hence my mom lol). We want happiness and we pursue it, but we totally missed it. We try filling in the gaps with things that won't satisfy, and we settle for temporary happiness.  God wants us to be happy. He wants to give us that joy that we so desire. But we have to get over ourselves and we have to take the first step. All we have to do is ASK.

♥With Love, Michelle♥

My Proposal Story

I've been in relationships before but prior to the one I am in now (hey boo!) I never ever thought about my wedding or especially a proposal. But as I started turning 20 and my friends and I started to grow up and follow instagramers with the most amazing engagement rings it finally got me dreaming about what my proposal, engagement ring, and wedding would be like. I have days where I will sit and watch viral proposal/wedding videos and discuss them with one of my friends (hey girl lol) and we just gush over everything. So today I actually get to tell you my very own proposal story, to me it's the best story I have ever told!

It started up I'm the sky, this divine supernatural being decided to come down from it's throne, away from His Heavenly Father to come find me. He grew up and became a missionary, He preached and loved like no one on this earth ever had. He was different. The world rejected Him and His love and crucified Him on a wooden cross. How ironic, being a carptener my love got crucified on one of His art pieces. He died, but He rose again after three days. What can I say He's a fighter for me.

Fast forward a few years and He's still there right behind me waiting with a little box and shiny diamond inside and He's waiting for me to turn around and act all surprised and say "yes!" But everytime I would turn around to look at Him I would just push Him aside and walk toward "better" things. 

Fast forward again and I'm a 20 year old girl full of mistakes and rejects trying to find my own identity. I finally decided to join my youth group at a new church I attended to. Little did I know that this was the place I was going to get proposed to. I started to feel Him all around me and all around my church, I started to know Him and actually started liking Him. He allowed me to prepare the environment around me for that special day. Then one Friday night, one of the worship leaders grabbed me in prayer and told me that this day was going to change my life. And it did... This was the day that my Jesus proposed to me, and instead of giving me a diamond ring, He gave me grace. Instead of a ring, He allowed me to touch his crown of thorns. Instead of a ring He gave me true love and identity. I was His and He was mine, forever. He didn't get down on one knee but He gave me salvation. He's pretty epic if you ask me and I loved him from that day on. 

I remember coming home that night and just bursting into tears telling my mom "I have found who Jesus is!!" Which is funny because He was ever lost. In my books that day was the start of my love story with a divine man who came down and hung on the cross to save my soul. But in His books our love story started since before time, when He chose my name, and when He knitted me to perfection in my mothers womb, He loved me since then. While some men propose with flash mobs, epic stunts, heartwarming videos or simply on their knees; Jesus proposes to you on a cross. As simple, real, raw, and graceful as it gets. 

This was my proposal story. We all have that day where Jesus was so vivid in our lives that we were never the same. I'm sharing this because sometimes we need to go back to this day to remind us of where He took us out of and brought us into relationship with Him. To remind us of that day and the emotions you felt when you aren't feeling anything at all, to remind us that He is good and that He will rescue from anyone and from anywhere. To remind us that we are not alone. I share this because whether you are single, in a relationship, engaged, or in marriage, your first true love will always be Jesus! And while I gushed over proposals or weddings and wondered about my own, I completely forgot that I had already been proposed to, and that it had exceeded my expectations. Jesus and you have a love story that will never have a sad ending, it can never be shaken and it is the most beautiful of all the love stories you could ever imagine. So how did the Saviour of the world propose to you? 

With love and grace- Diana C

Why I Hate #WCW

Disclaimer these are my own personal views you can definitely disagree with them and I'm open to any opinions as always! This is just a little rant I'm writing from my phone. 

When Wednesday's roll around I'm sure to find a few #WCW post on Instagram of a beautiful girl. #WCW means Women Crush Wednesday where people post their women crushes on Wednesday's on the popular social media app called Instagram. Usually men post these and it's of the most revealing picture they can find of a celebrity. Society has made it it's pursuit to distract people from the reality of life. #WCW may be something so simple but it feeds the sexual appetite of a male (and females) in the rape culture we live in. Two weeks ago 234 Nigerian girls were kidnap from their homes. Picture this, you are sleeping on your bed, when you feel someone grab you, you fight and they put a cloth over your mouth. When you wake up you are in a dark room smell of blood and sweat, you look around and see girls just like you staring at you or at the ceiling. Ripped clothes hugging their legs tight enough so no one can enter. That is the reality many girls are facing. Porn has become a multimillion dollar business, it makes more money than the NBA NFL NLB combined!! A simple picture of a women on Wednesday may sound harmless but not to the 14 year old boy behind his iPhone looking at these pictures and wanting to know more about a "real" women. The internet is so easy to navigate and from one #WCW picture they may find themselves on a porn site feeding their curiosity which can lead to the addiction that about 70% (probably more) people have of porn. Yes I dislike #WCW I also dislike #MCM (man crush Monday) because while we are posting these picture of these women in bikinis etc. There are girls all over the world, even in your own town, being kidnap for human trafficking for the sake of prostitution, porn, and feeding the sexual desires or the corrupt heart of many men. So men instead of posting your next #WCW think about your fellow mothers, sisters and friends and how you can respect them. How one picture leads to so much that even you wouldn't understand. The more fuel you add to this sex craze society the more they are going to produce for the consumers. Instead of posting your #WCW speak up about how your fellow women are being raped and kidnap every single day from their homes. This post is also to bring awareness to what is happening in Nigeria with the hashtag #BringBackOurGirls you can support these 234 young girls and their families.

 With Love & Grace - Diana C